Jason Law

In the fast-paced, technologically advanced society of today, a lot can change from one generation to the next. With the world so rapidly and constantly changing, the lives we lead are often extremely different to those led by our parents at the same age. Within a changing world, values are always evolving and so, younger generations tend to disregard the traditions that their parents may have adhered to – and that’s perfectly OK. In fact, I think it’s brilliant.

Over the past century, life expectancy has nearly doubled in most parts of the world, and the population has more than quadrupled. Due to this explosion in population and the expectation of a longer life, the age that people get married, have kids, or get a mortgage, has been steadily increasing – at least in post-industrial nations.

I’m a 32-year old, (happily) single man with no children and no home-ownership. Out of my large group of friends, two are married, one is expecting kids, and one of them has paid off their entire mortgage. The other 90% of my friends are unmarried, with no kids and no mortgage. If I compare these facts with what my parents and their friends were doing at my age, it’s safe to say that times have seriously changed.

While getting married, having kids or buying a house are not exactly traditions, they are societal and familial expectations of what you’re ‘supposed to do’ with your life. In a sense, the things that most generations have done before you could be defined as human tradition. Going by that definition, I personally am in no way following the traditions of my parents, grandparents or most humans that came before me!

My parents were married by the time my dad was 23 and my mum was 28 – which was an unusual age difference compared with the averages for men and women in the UK. At the time of their wedding in 1991, the average age of marriage was 31.6 for men and 29.1 for women. Today, the average ages at marriage have drastically increased, with men and women getting married at age 38.1 and 35.8, respectively. By the time my dad was my age, he’d been married for 11 years!

I was born shortly after my parents’ wedding, when they were 23 and 28 years old. I, on the other hand, at 32 have no kids yet – that I’m aware of at least. This is pretty consistent with the average age that people are having their first kid across the UK. In 1991, when I was born, average women were giving birth to their first child at 27.7 years old, compared to 30.9 in 2021. For men, the age for becoming a parent has risen from 28 to 33.4 in the same time period. The data shows that men and women have been becoming parents at older ages as time has passed. As a man, it looks like I’ve only got one more year until I’m too late to be part of the majority!

The average age for a first-time homebuyer in the UK is 34 years old (2023), compared to 23 years old in 1960. Though my parents never ended up owning a house, they had moved in together just before marriage and lived in the same flat together for the next eight years. As for me? I haven’t lived in the same accommodation for longer than two years since fleeing the nest, on account of my never-ending travelling. Conversely, my grandparents had gotten a mortgage in their early 20s and fully paid it off before they turned 30. They lived in that house for almost 60 years!

When considering all of these facts – not just about my own experiences and those of my parents, but of the average age for people in the UK today and in the past – then I have not kept the same traditions of my parents, and neither has most of my generation. Today, a married man with kids who owns a home would actually make up the minority.

Frankly, just writing this has put so much of my age-related anxiety at ease. Not only am I financially free from supporting a family, but I don’t have to consider the wellbeing of a child with every decision I make. I can move freely to any country without the burden of paying off a mortgage. I can live happily single, with the ever-present glimmer of hope that I’ll probably fall in love for the 6th time at some point in the future.

If following the traditional values of my parents means getting married, having kids and settling into a permanent home, then I say respectfully say “screw tradition”. Bring on my mid-thirties!